a thought

I just noticed when cleaning out my email that I had over a dozen emails sent to me on my one and two year anniversaries. Each note I loved and appreciated and they were all sent with the best intent and I love every single person who wrote me and I know they did not notice or this did not occur to them but let me point some things out.

read the Words carefully with me:

"Congratulations on being married and staying married."

First let's look at this part "on being" married = is it not just as GREAT to not be married?

AND now

let's look at this part

"on staying married"

what is wrong with not staying married? what if you are NOT in a safe nor healthy relationship? I think congratulations should be sent to people who don't stay married too.

So what I learned from this is it may be better to send Anniversary cards that just say:

"Congratulations on your anniversary!"

AND How come some people think people who are not married are missing out on something or that sometimes married people act like their life is somehow better than a non married persons? I remember family members saying to me over the years= "I wish you would find someone get married. and blah blah"...like I finally would be happy if I got married?! I am NOT AT ALL against getting married or staying married but hey if it happens it happens but if it doesn't it doesn't. Being married is not the end all and be all...in fact it's the end of a lot of things for some people and the beginning of a lot of good things for other people. AND the staying married part....that almost implies ...hey I know it really hard but hats of to you to sticking in there.

I really feel strongly that if you are not happy and more importantly abused and you worry about your safety of you and or your children, it is perfectly OK to get a divorce- in fact in Judism it's a Mitvah to get a divorce if you are in an abusive relationship. AND we congratulate marriages why not congratulate the divorces? ( as it certainly takes much more strength (and costs more money LOL) to divorce than to get married.)

Hey!- Let's give respect to people who decide they aren't marrying. And let's give respect to those who want to marry but just haven't found someonoe they want to marry. AND hats off to those who had the courage to leave when things were abusive and dangerous even know they were scared they would have no where to live, no money to live on, no place to shelther their children etc etc...

TO SUMMARIZE = being married is not better than not being married= ONE is not better than the other...they are the same. Let's just all try to be happy.

so next time you wish someone Happy Anniversay...you could just say Happy Anniversary!!!

....and if your friends get a divorce don't look down on them, look up to God (if you believe in God ) and ask for strength for your friend(s) as divorce is not easy and not fun. And then when or if they are single...PLEASE, you don't need to say= don't worry the right one come along ( not that this is a mean thing to say especially if it's what they desire and when people say that they mean well).... MAYBE consider saying= I pray (or hope) you are getting happier with each passing day and I love you and respect you. You can even add in= I admire the courage you showed by leaving that unhealthy relationship and I hope your every dream comes true and you reach all your goals. And know I am by your side for the whole journey no matter what (uless you decide to become a Star Trekky, then enjoy your new friends and see you in the big HOUSE) JUST KIDDING!